This was my first time ever being in a bowling league. It was an all-women's Tuesday night league in Monona named "Tuesday Night Live". Teams consisted of 3 players and we played 3 games each night, which I liked because it kept things moving right along. Teams of 5 players would be too much for me; too much down time between turns. 3 players was just right. Here is a picture of one side of the Village Lanes bowling alley. It's an older place, but I have to admit-- I like the sounds and smells of a good old-fashioned bowling alley.
My team consisted of my buddy and life-saver from work, Nancy (who I have mentioned in previous posts such as this one: link), and another woman named Linda. Neither Nancy nor I knew Linda prior to joining the league. Linda was looking for a team and Nancy and I needed a third person, so the bowling alley connected us. Linda is nice enough......and a die-hard bowler. She's in all kinds of different leagues and goes to all kinds of tournaments. She averages almost 170. Did I mention my average is, like, 112? I told a friend from home that I was bowling but that I sucked at it. When I mentioned my 112 average, her reply was: "Yeah, that's pretty much in the sucky range." Tell it like it is! My average might suck, true enough, but I had some super cute red bowling shoes.
Nancy is a pretty good bowler, too. Her and her husband bowl in leagues together. Here is a picture of Nancy and Linda at the bowling banquet that was held a couple weeks ago. Apparently at the end of the season, there is always a banquet. Part of the bowling culture. And I'm here to tell you bowling does, indeed, have a culture.
Before the league started, I got my cute red bowling shoes and a spiffy bowling ball, which I had to order and get custom drilled (which isn't as big of a deal as it may sound). The thumb hole on the ball was just a tad too tight for my comfort. I kept meaning to go back and get it re-drilled, but never got around to it. Linda, being the die-hard bowler that she is, was appalled by this. Every week, the very first thing she would say to me when she saw me was: "Did you get your ball fixed?" No "hi"or "how are you?" Very first thing out of her mouth when she laid eyes on me: "Did you get your ball fixed?"
Week in and week out, I just never made it around to getting my ball fixed, so I had to use a "lane ball"-- one of the balls that the bowling alley supplies, for those of you don't know what a "lane ball" is. (I've learned that bowling has its own culture and its own lingo.)
Let me tell you what puts you at the very bottom of the bowling league food chain: using a lane ball.
Bowling-Queen Linda was disgusted. She, herself, brought at least 4 different bowling balls each week so she could try them all out and see which one worked best based on the oil pattern of whatever lane we were assigned to on any given night. That's a serious bowler right there. Me? Yeah, not so much. There is no shame to my game, though. I used a lane ball and I was just fine with that. There was a particular lane ball that I favored and used every week. I was literally the only person in the entire league who used a lane ball, so I never had to worry it wouldn't be available. Lane balls might not get respect from league bowlers, but I'll give props to what became my old faithful.
Even using a lowly old lane ball, I did overall get progressively better throughout the season. I was pretty excited the night I bowled this game.
That's my score in the middle. I bowled a 145 that game. That wouldn't end up being my highest score though. Later in the season, I bowled this:
156. Not bad for a person who has hardly ever bowled in her life, never bowled in a league before, and who uses a lane ball.
The women on all the teams we bowled against were pretty nice, with just one exception. Most of the women in the league were also downing some cocktails and beers-- big time. I fit right in on that tip. I might use a lane ball, but I can drink beer with the best of them. There was one old lady in the league who, every week, drank Busch Light tall-boys, which she poured over a glass of ice. Busch Light on ice? Whatever floats her boat, I guess. She looked to be about 100 years old so she's probably earned the right to drink whatever the hell she wants to drink. There were several teams who had references to drinking in their team names. One team was named Bar Flies. Another (one of my favorite teams that we bowled against) named their team: To The Bar.
To The Bar. Right on.
Each week while we were bowling, a dude would come around and sell raffle tickets.
It was $3.00 for 5 tickets. All the money from ticket sales went into a pool and then there was a drawing. Whatever money was collected from ticket sales that night was evenly divvied up to 4 winners. Surprisingly, one night I won twice. Yep. Twice in the same night. 32 bucks a pop. I left the bowling alley that night with 64 more bucks than I had when I arrived. Well, I guess that's not exactly true. I spent part of my winnings on a round of drinks. Throughout the course of the league, I won a total of 3 times. Linda won 4 times. Poor Nancy never won at all. Bummer.
I mentioned above about bowling having its own culture and lingo. So true. For example, I learned that when someone gets a spare, the proper thing to say is: "Nice pick-up". I learned what it means to "mark". I now know what "deadwood" is. I also learned that when someone gets a strike or spare you give them an open-hand high-five. If a person leaves pins standing, you give them a closed-hand fist bump. Culture and lingo indeed.
I would say, in general, the league we bowled in was fun and not overly competitive. There were a few, though, who took it pretty seriously. Given what I do at work all day, I have different priorities. I'm competitive, don't get me wrong, and I always tried to bowl my best. But I just couldn't take it that seriously and, quite frankly, I found some things about the seriousness/culture/lingo downright humorous. Here's an example. This is a vending machine in the Village Lanes:
Inside the vending machine were things for sale, like this:
A bag of M&M's. OK. Typical vending machine fare.
Nestle Crunch Bar. Also typical. Just what one would expect to find in a vending machine.
But, on the very bottom row of the vending machine, the following was displayed for sale:
Grip Cream. For some reason, I found that so funny. Must be my third grade sense of humor. So while serious bowlers were bowling, I was taking pictures of the grip cream in the vending machine. Between that and using a lane ball, it's a wonder I didn't get run out of there.
In the end, our team didn't up doing too badly. We came in 8th place out of 22 teams. I actually enjoyed being in the league and looked forward to it every week. It was a nice distraction from work stress and it was fun to do something new and different. I guess maybe Linda didn't hate me too much because her, Nancy and I decided our team would bowl in the league again next year. The season starts in October. Maybe I'll finally get my ball fixed by then.
Or maybe not.
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