These Are The Times

Anyone who knows me knows that my move to Madison has been difficult.  I have had dark moments of suffocating regret for deciding to come here and ultimately betraying my own values.  At the end of the day, personal relationships are far, far more important to me than any job, career opportunity, or number on a pay check.  Since moving here, I have missed being in the place I call home and close to my family and friends.

Over the past 9 months (hard to believe it's been that long; I didn't think I was going to make it through the first 9 days), things have gotten better.  While I still sometimes question my decision, I'm feeling more comfortable about being here.  Changes at my job have made my experience there much improved and I am grateful for the incredible learning opportunity that I have been given.  Now that Scott and the pets are up here and we are living together under one roof again, I have even started to feel.....normal.....again.

Yesterday, though, proved to be one of those days in which all the questions and regrets came flooding back.  After running to the grocery store and taking care of a few things after work, I finally got around to calling my parents about 8:30 PM my time/central time, which is 9:30 PM for them.  I almost hesitated to call them that late because they have both been ill and I thought they may have already turned in by that time.  But I called anyways and didn't get an answer.  Strange.  My parents are always home at 9:30 PM.  I waited a couple minutes thinking that maybe they were, indeed, in bed and had forgotten to take one of the cordless phones in the room with them.  Usually in a case like this my Mom will hear the phone and then get up, get a phone and call back.  I waited.  No call back.  I tried calling again.  Still no answer.

Now this is really strange.  I decided to call their cell phone.  My Mom answered, but there was a bad connection and I could barely hear her.  I knew this was a bad sign.  If my Mom is answering her cell phone but not the home phone at 9:30 at night, that means she isn't home and that is totally out of the ordinary.

She called me back just a few minutes later to tell me my Dad was being admitted to the hospital.  He was diagnosed last week with pneumonia, the second time he's had it this year.  He went back to the doctor yesterday for another chest x-ray and to have his leg looked at because it was swollen.  Turns out he has 3 blood clots in his leg.  One was above the knee, which I guess is particularly worrisome.  Honestly, I don't know much about blood clots but I know they can be dangerous.

My Mom and Dad went to the ER from the doctor's office at 3:00 in the afternoon.  At almost 10 PM, they were still in the ER waiting to get checked into a room.  They didn't end up getting in a room until sometime after midnight.  Isn't that ridiculous?  Additionally, while they were there, the hospital was put on lock down for some reason.  That's a little scary.

I felt so badly that I wasn't there.  Scott and I debated about driving back to Columbus last night, but opted against it.  My Mom said it would just be more upsetting to my Dad if we were on the road, especially in the middle of the night.  We're going to see what my Dad's status is this morning and then decide what to do.  I just hated that I wasn't there last night to support them both.  I also hate it that I no longer live close by so I could drop by to help them with little things they may need here and there.  My parents are fiercely independent, but I have really seen them start to age.  This is the time of year when my Dad starts to break down his gardens.  He also keeps a well-manicured lawn and mows some of the neighbors lawns as well.  Even when he is sick, he obsesses about getting these kinds of things done and he pushes himself to do too much.  If I was there, I could take care of some of that kind of stuff to relieve his mind and my Mom's mind too (so she won't have to listen to him obsess about it).  Granted, my brother lives close to my parents, but he is no help and cannot be counted on for anything.  He is worthless when it comes to family matters.

It's really strange to me that my Dad is having health problems.  This is a guy who has always been in outstanding physical shape.  He works out regularly and has always been a healthy person.  When he worked before he retired, he got 5 paid sick days a year from his employer.  He never used them.  At the end of every year, he got paid out for them.  He is just a person who never got sick.  The fact that he has had pneumonia twice this year and is being admitted to the hospital for blood clots is, in some ways, beyond my comprehension.

I'm also feeling guilty.  That's something I'm really good at.  I feel guilty because my Dad worked like a dog to help Scott with the final move up here from Columbus.  It was hot.  It was an incredible amount of work/physical labor.  We were all exhausted.  My Dad started feeling bad the day he and my Mom left Wisconsin.  He was sick for a week.  Then got diagnosed with pneumonia, and now admitted to the hospital.  I feel like helping with the move was just too much for him and wore him down.  That makes me feel terrible.

So, last night was a rough night.  These are the times that all the doubts and questions about coming to Madison start flooding back.

Any prayers and positive mental energy you can offer for my Dad's quick recovery would be appreciated. 

  

The Honor System

Scott and I drove down to Rockford, IL yesterday.  It's about an hour drive from Madison.  Scott was actually born and raised in that area.

We took Highway 51 out of Stoughton to I-39.  There is some pretty countryside along Hwy 51.  As Scott and I were cruising through the country, we saw an old farmhouse with several trailers set up in the front yard filled with pumpkins for sale.  Here is one of the trailers:  

Here is another:

And another:

In addition to pumpkins, they had a huge assortment of gourds.  (I guess a pumpkin is technically a gourd, isn't it?  Or is it technically a squash?)

That's a lot of gourds. 

They also had little decorative gourds.  

And how is this for a whole lot of squashes?  (Did I used the correct plural there, or is the plural of squash....squash?)

As you can see in the picture above, the pricing of the squash is posted on the sign attached to the trailer.  I wish I would have gotten a close up.  The sign had pictures of the various kinds of squash and then the price for each variety.  Here is how the pumpkins were priced.

The various sizes of pumpkins were displayed on the bench with signs attached to each one with the price of the corresponding size.  The small ones were $1.00, the next size was $2.00, and so on up to $5.00.  So, if you picked a pumpkin off one of the trailers, you compared it to these pumpkins on the bench to determine its size and, therefore, its price.  Unless you wanted what was described via signage as "huge heavy pumpkins".  Those were displayed on the porch of the old farmhouse and were $10.00 each.

No one from the farmhouse came around while we were there.  We got to wondering how one pays for their purchase.  Then we saw this sign.

Not sure if you can read the sign or not, but the bottom line reads "P.S. - money in the pumpkin mailbox please"  Here is the pumpkin mailbox on the corner of the trailer.

Side view of the pumpkin mailbox:

And, sure enough, when you open the pumpkin mailbox there is a little basket inside in which to put your money to pay for your goods.

The honor system. 

How often do you see the honor system in action in this day and age?  Personally, I rarely see it.  It appeared the people who own the farm are simple, down-to-earth people, trustin' folks to do the right thing and pay for what they take.  I found that kind of simplicity and trust downright refreshing.

Suspicious Find

As most of you who read this blog know, my husband and I lived in different states for 8 months this year, from 12/31/09- 8/31/09.

We finally re-united, merged into one state and are under the same roof again.  The full move from Ohio to Wisconsin was a big one.  We have a sh*t load of boxes to unpack.  I have the essentials in place.  The rest of it, I am working on a little at a time. 

When I moved to Wisconsin back in December, I brought only basic stuff with me- just the stuff that I would need to get by.  I left almost everything at our home in Columbus.  So, there are a lot of things that I have been separated from for months.  As a result, I find myself saying "Oh yeah, I forgot about this" quite a bit as I encounter things when I'm unpacking, things like certain articles of clothing, some kitchen utensils, etc.  While I may have forgotten about certain things, I immediately recognize them when I see them.

The other day, I was unpacking a box and came across this.

What a cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag. Only I didn't recognize it.  It's not mine.  So of course I opened it to see what was inside.

Here is a sample of the bounty I found inside the cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag that isn't mine.  

Ahem.  Yes.  An assortment of female hair accessories were inside the cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag that isn't mine.  OK.  Have you seen my hair lately??  For the past decade it's been a short, close cut to my head.  I would have absolutely no use for pony-tail holders and hair clips.  I have no hair to put in a clip and I couldn't put my hair in a pony-tail if I tried. 

WTF.  Really?  I've been living apart from my husband for 8 months and as I'm unpacking boxes now that we are living together again I find a bag of female hair accessories that aren't mine?  That's super messed up.

But it doesn't end there.

I found this in the same box with the cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag, filled with women's hair accessories, that isn't mine.

A big ol' fat round curling iron.  Again, have you seen my hair in the last 10 years?  It would be impossible for me to use a big ol' fat round curling iron.

But it doesn't end there either.

I also found this in the same box with the cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag filled with women's hair accessories and the big ol' fat round curling iron.  

A travel size hair dryer.

Again, WTF.  Really?  What-- has some women with long locks been traveling to my home in Columbus to be with my husband while I've been struggling on my own up here in America's Dairy Land?  Sure seems that way based on my suspicious find.

Needless to say, I had a few questions for my husband.  When I showed him what I found, he responded with a nonchalant, "That stuff isn't yours?"

I think my reaction to him had a tone something along the lines of, "No mother f*er, that stuff isn't mine", which I think may not be an unreasonable reaction when one finds some other woman's stuff while unpacking boxes after living apart from her husband for 8 months  I was thinking that he better come up with something good (and quick) besides, "That stuff isn't yours?"

Duh.  Has he seen my hair lately? 

Here is his explanation for the cute little striped Paul Mitchell bag filled with women's hair accessories, the big ol' fat curling iron and the travel size hair dryer.  He said the buyers of our house in Columbus came by the day before he left to move up here.  It was actually just the woman/wife of the couple who purchased the home.  She had her daughter and her realtor with her.  They did a final walk-through in the house before the closing of the sale scheduled for the next morning.  There was nothing in the house at the time.  It was totally empty as the moving truck was loaded up and ready to go.  Scott said as he walked through the house with the group, they looked in all the drawers, closets, etc.  When they got to the master bathroom, they opened the doors on the vanity.  Then, allegedly, they pulled out a drawer at the very bottom of the vanity, kind of tucked underneath it right at the floor level. 

Scott said he never knew there was a drawer down there.  Neither did I and I used that bathroom for 3 years.

But, that's what he said.  The buyer, her daughter and her realtor opened this secret drawer at the bottom of the vanity and found these things.  He said they teased him and said, "Good thing we found this stuff- your wife would have been mad if you forgot it."

Yeah.  Good thing.  Good thing I ran into some other woman's stuff as I'm unpacking boxes after living apart from my husband for 8 months.  But, Scott was emphatic about his story.  He said, "Call her.  Call Mrs. Patton (buyer) and ask her."  As further evidence to support his claim, he said that the box I found this suspicious stuff in was the very last, last-minute box that he packed.  It had other things in it that one would expect to pack at the last minute.  For example, also in the box was the shower curtain that he threw in there after he took it down following his last shower right before he left to drive up here.

I kept pointing out that, even if there was a plausible explanation, he had to admit it was a suspicious (and messed up) find.  He just kept saying, "Call her.  Call Mrs. Patton and ask her."

I didn't call Mrs. Patton.  I actually believed Scott's explanation.  I knew the couple that owned that home before me and she (the woman/wife in the couple) had the hair and seemed like the type to have these kinds of hair things.  She obviously forgot the stuff when she moved and not surprising given the drawer is clearly not obvious.  Since I never even knew the drawer existed, it made sense that her hair stuff would still be in there.

Even though I believe him, one has to admit that it was a suspicious (and messed up) find.  I still have about 100 boxes to unpack.  I'm left to wonder if I'll find anything else that's suspect.  Maybe another woman's panties? 

    

New Computer

The kitchen in our new house here in Stoughton has a small desk area in it.  Scott and I decided we would like to have a computer there.  Since it's not a very big space, we decided to get a Sony all-in-one touch screen.  I'm not very technologically inclined but this new computer is pretty nice.  Not a MAC, granted.  That was out of our price range.  But this Sony is still pretty sweet.

No tower.  Small, wireless keyboard.  Wireless mouse.  Touch screen.  It's a great fit for the small desk area in the kitchen. 

This is a broader view of the desk area.  Ahhh... I love good lighting.  I am a mood lighting kind of girl.  Start talking about dimmer switches and my heart will go pitter-patter.  I think we have a dimmer on almost every switch in this house.  Thanks to Scott, who is the dimmer-switch-installer extraordinaire, and who knows of and nurtures my love for dimmers.

Oh, and did I mention I got a new chair for the space?  Yes, I did.  From Pier One.  This chair is so darn cute.

And, then finally, another picture of the desk area + chair.

We love the kitchen in this house.  We love the desk area in the kitchen.  And the new computer is the icing on the cake.

In The Midst of the Big Move

The "big move" finally happened on Tuesday, August 31.  Finally.  That was the date we closed on the sale of our home in Columbus and simultaneously closed on the purchase of our home in Wisconsin.  Looking back, I didn't think I would make it to this point.  I didn't think I would stay here.  But I did.  I persevered through doubts, regrets, and some really dark moments.  It was almost like an out-of-body experience.  Now, overall, I feel pretty good about the fact that I made it through.  In hindsight, my doubts were based largely in fear.  I still feel scared sometimes.  But I recognize the fear.  And I also recognize that a little bit of confidence and contentment grows in me every day. 

I may write more about the logistics of the move later.  You know, nothing is ever easy, so there were some last minute, unanticipated stressors.  For now, though, I am going to reflect on a diversion we had in the midst of the big move.

My parents-- God love them.  They do some amazing things to make my life easier and better.  Their primary objective in life is to make sure my brother and I have better lives than either of them did growing up.  I'm here to tell you:  mission accomplished. 

I could create a super long list of all the ways my parents have self-sacrificed and contributed over the years to the betterment of my life experience.  For the purposes now, I will simply comment that they helped in a big way with the move from Columbus to Stoughton/Madison.  They worked their tails off and put in some long hours of hard labor.  Moving is a bitch, you know?  Honestly, they are harder workers and have more endurance than either Scott or I do.  They were troupers.  They always are. 

Being away from home for too long takes my Dad way out of his comfort zone and makes him edgy.  (OK- so now you know where I get it.)  Everyone (Scott, my parents, and the pets) arrived in Stoughton late on Tuesday evening, about 9:30 PM.  By Friday, my Dad was ready to go home.  My Mom, however, wanted to stay a couple more days so she was able to convince him to stay until Sunday.  Scott and I were happy they stayed.  Tuesday through Friday of that week was all work.  Unloading, unpacking, carrying things, putting things away, etc.  Saturday, we took a break. 

Saturdays in Madison are all about the Farmer's Market downtown.  I wrote about it in a previous post.  (Click here to see.)  Since Saturday happened to be our day off from move-related work, we ventured downtown to the Farmer's Market.  Truly, for anyone who is in Madison April- October, it's something to experience.

The particular Saturday we went, September 4, it was downright chilly in the morning.  As such, the market wasn't quite as crowded as it had been when Scott and I went previously.  By the time we left, though, it had warmed up and the crowd had picked up considerably.

Before getting to pictures, I have to segue into a short story.  My Dad is a fiscal dichotomy.  In some ways, he is a big spender and in other ways he is ultra conservative-- to the point of being unrealistic about how much things cost.  For example, he will walk into a car dealership and pay cash for a new car-- that's the big spender.  But, ask him to go out to dinner and he will pass because there is food to eat at  home.  That's the conservative side.  His thinking is, "Why would I pay to eat out when there is food right here at the house that your Mother can fix?"  (Note the "that your Mother can fix" part of that.  I guess in his experience, eating at home and eating out are essentially the same thing.  Someone else cooks the food and serves you.)

Anyhow, there are mounds of fresh vegetables at the Farmer's Market (duh?)  Fresh green beans are sold by the pound there.    As we worked our way around the market, the conservative spender part of my Dad had to comment loudly that the price of green beans was increasing from booth to booth.  A vendor overheard his comment (how could she not) and said prices differed based on the size of the beans, to which my Dad replied:  "A pound is a pound." 

He's right.  But I had to get him out of there.  Fast.   

First couple pictures are some of the amazing fresh vegetables.  Not only is it interesting and fun to see the variety of vegetables, it's also cool how some of them are displayed.  It's just so...... Farmer's Market-y.

The dude in the picture below was wearing a great big bee hive hat at the booth where he was selling honey.  I'm guessing the decision to wear a yellow coat wasn't a coincidence.

Here is a close up.  Those little things stuck to the front are (fake) bees.  Right there on the bee hive hat.  Worn by the guy in the yellow coat.  Selling honey.  The brand is "Bee Charmer".

There are a few booths at the Farmer's Market that sell fresh meat.  This is Wisconsin so I'm thinking it's theoretically possible to slaughter a cow Friday and sell fresh steaks at the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning.  After typing "cow" and "slaughter", I feel sad and compelled to become a vegetarian.

The picture below was taken at one of the booths where they were selling meats.

Now that's kind of cute.  "Doggie Deli".  I am absolutely, 100% certain Rudy and Jada would loooooove to get a hold of those gigantic, smoked bones.  Rudy and Jada didn't get bones though (what they don't know won't hurt them.)  I was afraid it would upset their stomachs.  I don't need another pet with an upset stomach.  I have already cleaned up about 10 piles of cat puke in the past 12 hours, which is also the reason I'm up writing on my blog at 3 AM.  Simon, my big kitty with PICA, apparently has eaten tape or cardboard or something else around here in this "we just moved" environment and has made his tummy upset.  I was awaken at about 2 AM to cat retching.  What a sound and what a lovely way to wake up.  Getting out of bed and immediately having to clean up puke is a super way to start the day. 

*Sigh*  What can I do though?  Sh*t (or in this case, puke) happens.

There I go.  Digressing again.  Back to something more appealing than cat puke... back to the Farmer's Market. 

A few obvious signs that fall is here were found at the market:  decorative gourds and Mums.  I love the purple color on these Mums.  I don't usually see that color at your garden-variety garden stores.

Both times we have been to the Farmer's Market, several vendors have been selling fresh cut flowers....for cheap!  Bunches of these beauties sell for about 5 bucks.

I saw these hanging baskets.  I have no idea what kind of plant/flower this is.  Those....thingies... hanging from it were interesting.  And weird.  They were kind of squiggly and looked foamy.  How's that for a description?  I kind of liked the plant.  More so, I was kind of freaked out by it.   

One last plant picture from the market.  There is just so much cool stuff there.

As you may know, the Madison Farmer's Market is downtown on the square around the Capitol building.  There are several posts on this blog about what a beautiful structure the Capitol building is.  

The Capitol building was open to the public during the time we were at the Farmer's Market, so we ventured in.  OMG.  I thought the outside of the building was special.  The inside blew me away.  It is magnificent.  These pictures don't even come close to doing it justice.  The marble, ornamentation, and murals were awe-inspiring.

This next photo is looking up into the dome of the building.  That center piece is a mural.  Unfortunately the details don't show up in this picture.

As part of the public viewing of the building, the observation deck on the 4th level was open.  We went up there.  Couple things.  #1- The 4th level is  not the same thing as the 4th floor.  The 4th level is up there quite a ways.  Did you know I'm petrified of heights?  Yep.  Petrified like I go into full fledged panic attacks.  Petrified like when I was called to jury duty a couple years ago and had to go across the 14th floor sky walk from the parking ramp to the court house, I had to walk fast and do deep breathing because I thought I would pass out.  Petrified like (what was I thinking?) when Scott and I went on that one ride at King's Island that lifts you in a seat way up in the air and then drops you straight down, I really thought I was going to die when we had reached the top and were waiting to be dropped back down.  After we were dropped and got off the ride, I literally burst into tears. 

In spite of all that history and known fear, I went up to the 4th level observation area at the Capitol building.  Sometimes I'm OK with heights as long as I'm looking out and not down, though that isn't always the case.  On this particular day, I did OK with the looking out part and was actually able to snap a few shots. 

All that was related to #1.  Geesh, I'm long winded on my blog sometimes. 

#2- It was flipping cold and windy on the 4th level.  By the time we were done walking around, I felt like I had been beaten by the wind and I was chilled down to the bone for the rest of the day.

No pain, no gain.  Right?  The wind beating and frost bite were worth it to experience the spectacular views from the 4th level observation area.  Views looking out and not down though.

This first picture is looking out towards Lake Monona and Monona Terrace.  As you can see in the foreground, they were erecting a stage for a band as later in the day after the Farmer's Market, they were hosting "Taste of Madison" downtown.  I have said many times that downtown Madison is dynamic.  I love that.

The next pic is looking from the other side of the building, out towards Lake Mendota, which you can see in the background.  They were erecting another stage on this side of the square as they were having multiple bands for Taste of Madison.  Apparently at least one of the bands was good enough that one of the individuals with disabilities that we support via the company I work for, got into a mosh pit and was subsequently dropped.  Not once.  Not twice.  But three times.  This person already had a traumatic brain injury.  I'm thinking getting dropped 3 times in a mosh pit isn't great for anyone, let alone some with a TBI.  I've seen a number of interesting (disturbing?) incident reports over the years.  This will be a first:  an incident report related to getting dropped at a mosh pit.

I love the sky and clouds in this picture.  Looks like the sky goes on forever but also like you can reach up and touch the clouds.  The sky in these parts is fodder for dreamers. 

There you have it.  In the midst of the big move, we took a break and went downtown to the Farmer's Market.  We did some other things that day, too.  We took my parents to my office so they could see where I work.  We also went to Brennan's.  I love that place.  I'll have to write about it some other time.  And we took my parents to Adler's and had some cheese curds.  You have to have cheese curds when you come to Wisconsin.  It's part of the Wisconsin experience.

Doesn't knowing that cheese curds is part of the Wisconsin experience make you want to leave immediately to come up here to visit??

More To Come Soon....