For She Who is Being Tried

What does she know who has not been tried?

The woman who has traveled lonely paths,

knows how to find her way.

She who has weathered losses

gains compassion.

Tested, she multiplies her resourcefulness.

She who has not been tried, what does she know?

She who has been surprised

abounds with vigilance.

Betrayed, she recognizes what is true.

Scarred, she finds her resilience.

Her illusions gone, she deepens.

O woman, you follow a spiral,

rounding and revisiting.

The furrow you plow

is your own life. Reach deep within

the soil you have loosened.

Draw forth its richness.

Be strengthened by the grace of your experience.

~mj abell

A Few More Madison Pictures

This photo is my car in a parking lot next to a big pile of snow that had been plowed. (IMHO, this amount of snow is really unnecessary.)

The photo below is the view out of the window at my apartment. It's a large field/park area. There are some people who bring their dogs out religiously every day to run in the field. It's actually enjoyable to watch the dogs running and playing and loving the snow. It just makes me miss my dogs so much.

The two dogs in this picture come out every day with their owner. They love playing fetch in the snow. They run so fast with tails wagging the whole time.

First Posted Pics From Madison

So, here I am on Saturday, January 9, 2010 in Madison, Wisconsin. Scott and I went downtown and walked around State Street for a while. It was super cold (somewhere around 4 degrees), but we bundled up and didn't mind the cold too much. It was very sunny and clear, so it was actually a pretty day. Scott took this photo of me on State Street with the Capital Building in the background.


Leave it to a place like Madison, Wisconsin to have a sidewalk sale like this...winter clothes, snow piled up in the background...



















The Capital Building in Madison is very pretty lit up at night.

"Personal and Professional Development" is Over-Rated

Seriously....

Personal and professional development is over-rated. Who and where are the people out there championing stability and satisfaction? Why are we made to feel like there is always something else we should be chasing?

After making a major (and misguided) decision for my "personal and professional development", I have such clarity. After making this fateful decision, I found the following poem (a little too late for me, but maybe helpful to someone else):

I am enough.

I have enough.
I love enough.
I risk enough.
I feel enough.
I get enough.
I handle enough.
I am loved enough.
I am healed enough.
I am ready enough.

I am enough.

The Heifer at the Blockbuster in Upper Arlington

I rarely rent movies from Blockbuster any more. I mean, who really does? But over the 4th of July weekend, Scott and I were in the mood to watch a couple movies so we rented 3 DVD's from a local Blockbuster store. I'm a little (a lot?) overdue in returning them. Today I made the commitment to just do it. Just get those pesky rented DVD's back to Blockbuster. So I stopped by a Blockbuster location other than the store from which we rented them initially. The young clerk in the Blockbuster in Upper Arlington informed me that the DVD's had to be returned to the store where the initial rental took place. OK. Fine. I just simply commented that such a return policy is probably why people don't really rent movies from places like Blockbuster anymore. I wasn't being rude to her or nasty. I was just pointing out a fact in the era of Netflix. But this young heifer apparently wanted to fuss with me. She retorted in a nasaly, condescending way, "Actually, we do a lot of business." Now keep in mind that when she made this comment, I was the only customer in the store. Also keep in mind that I have PMS and a penchant for sarcasm. So, of course I had to turn my head and look to the left and then turn my head and look to the right in the empty store completely devoid of any customers but me and say to the heifer, "Yes, it looks like you are doing a lot of business."

Really, the snotty young heifer should have just shut up at that point. But no. She wanted to argue. Here is the next part of the conversation:

Heifer: "You don't have to be rude. I was just trying to be nice and explain the return policy."
Me: "That's actually what you are supposed to do because you work in customer service and I am the customer."

Again, really, the snotty young heifer should have just shut up. But nooooooo. She then asked if I have ever worked in customer service. What I should have said was, "My work history is none of your business." But I didn't. I got baited and said that I have actually worked in a number of customer service positions. So then she told me that I must know how I sounded. Maybe, but I also know how she sounded.

A couple of points (that I probably should make to Blockbuster instead of my blog):

#1 It is asinine to tell a customer in a retail setting that the company is doing a lot of business when there is not one single other customer in the entire store.

#2 It is unwise to assume customers are unintelligent/uneducated. The heifers comment about Blockbuster doing a lot of business is especially ridiculous to someone like me who knows that the Blockbuster company posted a staggering decline in revenue in the first quarter of this year.

#3 If you are working in customer service and you have to say to a customer, "I'm just trying to be nice" chances are good you aren't really being nice. If you are, you shouldn't have to point it out. At the point you tell a customer you are just trying to be nice, what you are really doing is being argumentative.

Bad customer service is one thing. You know, it just is what it is. But bad customer service from someone who thinks they are actually providing good customer service can really fire me up. Not to mention I still have those damn movies to return.

Two final points for contemplation:

• Am I the one who is actually the snotty heifer in this scenario? (OK- you don't have to answer that!)
• My God, does anyone have any Midol?? At the point I am this fired up over the clerk in Blockbuster I have totally lost emotional control. Maybe Midol isn't enough. How about Haldol?

Are Republicans Finally Wising Up?

I read on the news today that the percentage of Republicans who think Sarah Palin could be an effective leader (President) is 33%. This number is down from 71% who reported during the last election season that they felt she could be an effective leader. Down from 71% to 33%. I consider that progress. Are the Republicans finally wising up to her idiocy, incompetence, and narcissism? I certainly hope so, because if I have to listen to a bunch of press for the next 3 years actually entertain the idea of Sarah Palin running for President, I think I'll shoot myself.

Paying Tribute

I remember hearing my parents talk about how they remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. Along those lines of the passing of historical figures, I, like many people around the world, will always remember where I was when I heard that Michael Jackson died. I was in a Tee-Jay's restaurant on Hamilton Road, but that's a different story...

Last night and again tonight I have watched parts of several different shows paying tribute to Michael Jackson. On these shows, I have heard great music, seen incredible dance moves, and listened to heartfelt interviews. Prior to the tribute shows, most of what I heard about Michael Jackson in recent years was negative and, arguably, cruel. We all know the stories. His skin color. Bad cosmetic surgeries. Financial woes. Child molestation accusations.

But these tribute shows over the past 24 hours have been beautiful and touching. Clips of Michael with his brothers performing as the Jackson Five. Snipits of some of his finest interviews over the years. Parts of his legendary music videos. Fans at his concerts screaming, crying, passing out, singing along as he performed. For the most part, the tribute shows have emphasized the positive and really downplayed all the negativity that we had grown accustomed to hearing about the King of Pop over the past number of years. I have actually teared up a couple of times because the tributes have been so moving.

So this got me to thinking. I wish these tribute shows had been aired before Michael died. I wish Michael had gotten to see the tributes instead of all the cruel press that badgered him for so long. I wonder if he really knew how much he meant to this fans, to the music industry, to the people who cared about him. I think the press did a real dis-service to Michael with all the negative publicity over the years and thinking about the pain he must have suffered behind it makes me sad.

So this got me to thinking some more. Why do we wait until someone dies to pay tribute to them? Isn't it really too late at that point? Why don't we pay tribute to people when they are alive?

Why don't we make more of an effort to validate others, show appreciation, take time to think about them in the most positive light, offer forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt, express our gratitude, and make certain that those we love know we love them?

Why do only famous people get tributes? Why don't each of us pay tribute to the "ordinary" people in our lives? Think about it. One day out of the blue someone pays you a tribute. Tells you all the good and beautiful and wonderful and meaningful things about you. Wouldn't that feel so great and so encouraging? I think paying tribute would not only feel good for the person receiving it, it would feel equally good for the person offering it. Watch out now.... that kind of good will is contagious.

Maybe, for example, instead of sending commercially produced Christmas and birthday cards, we could hand write a few lines from the heart on a plain old sheet of paper to give to our friends and family telling them how much they mean to us. We could thank someone for an act of kindness they offered to us. We could call a friend we haven't talked to in a while. We could take some time to get together with friends and loved ones (if we really want to, we can all find an hour or two here and there, can't we?) We could share a funny story or memory. We could ask someone how they are doing and really care about the answer. There must be millions of ways to tell and show someone that you care.

But, why wait until Christmas, birthdays or special occasions to express our love for each other in this way? Today is the only day that's guaranteed to us. Why wait? Why not find ways, big or small, to pay tribute to someone special in our lives today?