2010- Year in Review- Part 4

April 2010

At the rate I'm going, it will be the end of 2011 before I'm done with the 2010 year in review posts.  I need to pick up the pace.

For the most part, things were stagnant in April.  House in Columbus was still not on the market.  We still were not looking for a house in Wisconsin.  Actually, we weren't yet released from the contract on the house we had put an offer on back in February (mentioned in previous post), so that situation was really dragging out.  Still not liking my job much. 

I was starting to feel increased pressure to make a decision-- stay or go back home-- because by this time I was more than half way through the sub-lease on my apartment.  I had until May 31, which didn't give me much time.  I felt incapable of making a decision.  I continued as I had for the past 3 months.  Literally taking things one day at a time.  When the worry, stress, and pressure started to consume me, I would tell myself, "Julie, you don't have to make a decision today."  That provided a minuscule amount of temporary relief, but I knew the day was quickly approaching when I would, indeed, have to make a decision.

For April, however, status quo.

I took an impromptu trip home for Easter.  I hadn't planned to, but as the holiday approached I couldn't bare the thought of sitting in my apartment by myself on Easter Sunday.  I wanted to be with my family, so I got in the car and made the 8 hour drive back to Columbus.

It felt good to be home.  We had our traditional Easter dinner at my parents.  No shortage of good food there.  Scott and my parents are pictured below at the dinner table.

Later that day, my friend Renee and her daughter Kayla came over. 

After a few of these....

...(Gin Madras), we took to playing in the park next to our house with Kayla.  Kayla had us doing an obstacle course on the jungle gym and at one point Renee and I ended up running as fast as we could across the park and back.  We had a good time and laughed and laughed.  It was fun at the time, but you know you are old and fat when the day after you play in the park you feel like you've been hit by a truck because you are so stiff and sore.

Scott rode back to Madison with me, which was wonderful.  He stayed a few days and then flew home.  I was getting really tired of saying good-bye to my husband at the airport.  Living apart was starting to take a toll on us.  It was so, so, so hard.  Looking back now, I can say this:  never again.  Never again will we make a decision that involves us living apart for any length of time.

In the month of April, it really started to feel like spring had sprung.  Temps warmed up and everything got lush and green.  The view from the bedroom window of my apartment went from this in January:

To this in April:

I love spring.  Even though I was still struggling and still very much unsure about what to do, I started to feel a little better simply because it was spring-- the season of hope and renewal.  I needed both.  I felt the stirrings inside, but no movement yet.  I was still plugging away; four months of it.  Four long months of directionless plugging away.  One day, one hour, one minute at a time.  Breathe in.  Breathe out. 

On to May, where something finally breaks me out of the rut......