Crime Scene

A few weeks back, I entered the kitchen in our house and discovered a crime scene. This is what it looked like.

On top of the island.  Bag of tortilla chips.  Ripped open at the corner.  A few chips drug out and chewed on.

List of suspects:
Julie- human
Scott- human
Jada- canine
Rudy- canine
Simon- feline
Isaac-feline

Here is how the evidence was analyzed.

Julie- if she had wanted a chip, she would just have undone the clip and gotten chips out of the top of the bag.
Scott- same thing.
Jada- would have to stand on her hind legs, put her front paws on the side of the counter, and then really reach for the bag.  She is way too wimpy (and lazy and unmotivated by food) to commit such a crime.
Rudy- wanted a chip bad, but couldn't reach the bag; she's too little.
Simon- could have jumped up on the counter.  Wait, no he couldn't.  He's too fat to jump that high.

That narrows the list down to one suspect.  Isaac.  In the kitchen, on the counter, with his teeth.

Guilty as charged.

I had a little side bar with Isaac.  I was like, "Look, dude, if you want to commit a crime in the house, here's a tip:  at least stage it so it looks like someone else might have committed the crime."

Apparently Isaac took my advice.  Tonight, I went down to the kitchen and discovered another crime scene.  I didn't get a picture this time, but what I found was a chewed up Panera bag and sandwich wrapper which had previously housed the rest of the Cuban panini I had for lunch today.

This time, all the chewed up paper was on the floor and Rudy was laying right in the middle of it.  Makes it sound like Rudy is guilty, right?

No, I don't think so.  I think she was just an accessory after the fact.  That Cuban panini had been on the island.  The only way it could have ended up on the floor?  Isaac.  In the kitchen, on the counter, with his teeth.  The case is that as he chewed on the bag and sandwich, he eventually pushed it off the island onto the floor at which time Rudy got involved.  But, can I really prove that to a judge and jury?  No I can't.  The fact is, poor little old Rudy was laying right in the middle of the crime scene and all the evidence.

Nice going Isaac.  Way to cast reasonable doubt.  Isaac's verdict?  Acquitted.

But I might take civil action.  That Cuban panini was really good and I wanted to take the rest of it for my lunch tomorrow......