American Idol

So, I'm watching American Idol tonight with Miley Cyrus as the celebrity mentor. Her talking voice is beyond annoying. She sounds like she smokes a couple packs of cigarettes a day. When she talks, I literally cringe. Imagine what she will sound like when she's, like, 50. Did she offer any helpful comments to the contestants? Not that I could tell.

Tonight's performances:

Lee: I like his voice. A decent performance tonight. Nothing outstanding, but good enough to move on to next week.

Paige: She seems sweet and she is a cute girl, but whew! she sounded bad tonight. Unfortunate. I actually think she has a decent voice but she just doesn't seem to be able to pull it off on stage. It seems like she is nervous and then she doesn't breathe right to support her voice or something. Not good tonight.

Tim: Poor guy. He looks like such a nerd when he performs. It's like a lounge singer version of a Queen song. No.

Aaron: Before he even starts singing, I'm asking myself why, why, why do any American Idol contestants chose to sing Aerosmith songs? No one but Steven Tyler should ever sing Aerosmith songs. OK. Blame it on the tonsilitis; he sounds horrible. The judges like it? Oh come on. No way.

Crystal: A Janice Joplin song- kind of an obvious choice for her. She has a hard time looking at the camera when she sings. Bless her heart; she seems like she is self-conscious about her teeth or her smile. I like her voice but this was not my favorite performance of hers. I would have like to hear her sing some Tracy Chapman. She might even be able to pull off some Creed.

Big Mike: Can we not just call him Mike? He sang the song well. Good high notes. He does sing with feeling and he's decent to watch perform. I thought he did very well. He definitely deserves to move on.

Andrew Garcia: I like this guy. I like his persona. Or, as we used to say back in the day: I like his stilo. I also like his voice but "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" would NOT have been the song I would have chosen for him. Overall a boring performance and disappointing. The good news for Andrew is there have been at least 3 performers tonight who have been much, much worse. He will get through this week but he's going to have to bring it next week.

Katie: She thinks she's cute. She always does a little snarl of the lip and some neck rolling during her performances. I could pass on that, especially from a 17 year old. She has a decent voice but, OUCH, as I'm listening she is super pitchy. Not nearly as good as I thought it would be. I thought this Fergie song would be a good fit for her but she didn't sing it very well.

Casey: I don't really get the appeal. He doesn't do anything for me. Singing Huey Lewis and the News? Really?? He actually sounded pretty good singing it, though. Not exciting. Not a great song. But good enough to get through. It had moments where it was kind of like a George Thoroughgood version of Huey Lewis. Kara said he is ready to make an album? No way. He isn't all that. I think Kara is an idiot. She has a waaaay over-inflated view of herself and some bizarre affinity for this Casey guy.

Didi: Her voice is different. I like it. She won't win the competition though. She should move to next week. There were some performances tonight much worse than hers, but hers definitely wasn't great.

Siobhan: She has one hell of a powerful voice but I don't like her personality at all. What's up with the glasses? And that was a serious 80's outfit she pulled together. I love me some Stevie Wonder. I thought she did pretty well singing the song, but I agree with Simon. I'm kind of over the big screetchy end notes.

So, that's it. Who will get eliminated this week? My guess is Paige.